When Family and Friends Fall Away

Over the past year and a bit, as I have become increasingly involved in my Faith and realized, perhaps for the first time in my life, what it truly means to be a Catholic, I have struggled with what my reaction should be, as a practicing Catholic, to those family and friends who have left the Church.

At one point in my life, I too told my parents that I was going to leave the Catholic Faith (that's a story for another time) so I certainly cannot be the first to point the finger (or throw the stone), yet I struggle with what is the appropriate reaction.

A wise priest I know pointed out that in response to the sin we see destroying others lives we should approach these people with a spirit of consolation rather than condemnation. This has been running through my mind recently whenever I find myself slipping into a judgemental attitude...I tell myself, "Remember, be a person of consolation not condemnation." And yet, what does this mean? I find that it means, in love, showing those who have fallen away from the practice of the Faith the way to God's mercy and grace and unconditional love found in the Church. But how to live this, how to carry it out, is not so clear.

And yet, at times we are called to judge. How can we turn a blind eye to sin that is destroying the lives of our closest friends and immediate family members? Yet how do we respond to their morally self destructive behaviour without coming across as arrogant and further alienating them from the Faith? These are questions many practicing Catholics face in their day to day relations with friends and family. I know that I asks myself these very questions daily.

Where do we have the responsibility to speak up and say something and when should we keep our mouths shut? If no one speaks, than there is no accountability among the faithful. We need to help each other stay on the straight and narrow. And yet, in our culture, where we are so quick to 'tolerate' and so slow to pass 'moral judgements' there is no accountability. There must be a balance somewhere out there, a fine line that we can walk in prayer and with the Holy Spirit to remind our family and friends of the Truth of Christ without further alienating them from the Church and without being 'judgemental.'

It's one thing to see a person who has had poor catechesis or a life of turmoil turn their backs on Christ, but it is even more discouraging to see a friend or family member who has received a solid foundation in Christ's teachings reject their childhood Faith.

From the perspective of someone who cares, it is frightening to witness because we know our families and friends are held accountable to what they know (Lk 12:48). To witness a blatant and a public apostasy of a family or friend is very frightening indeed. The realities of Hell overshadow such events. On one hand we would all like to believe in a God who is perfectly merciful and loving, and that he is, yet in his perfect love he has also given us the freedom to reject or accept his mercy. This being said, while acknowledging the implications of such a rejection, it is important that we do not loose hope in the power of prayer as well as natural and divine revelation which may indeed lead those who have fallen astray back to Christ.

So as I struggle to discern the fine line to walk and long to see all those who have distanced themselves from Christ and His Church brought back into the fullness of Truth, I pray to the Lord:
"For the sake of his sorrowful passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world."