The Law of the Gift

This past weekend, after a discussion about the Theology of the Body, I was pointed to the following article, "The Law of the Gift: Understanding the Two Sides of Love" by Edward Sri, by a family friend (and director of the Catholic Educator's Resource Centre).

The article speaks of the subjective and objective aspects of love which are essential to developing love in its fullest sense.

Men and women today are quite susceptible to falling for this illusion of love, for the modern world has turned love inward, focusing primarily on the subjective aspect. In the last article, I wrote about the phenomenon of “Hollywood Love,” which tells us that the stronger our feelings are the stronger our love is. Wojtyla, however, emphasizes that there is another side of love that is absolutely essential no matter how powerful our emotions and desires may be. This is what he calls love’s “objective” aspect.

The author points out that authentic love does not merely consist of our subjective experience of feelings of love, but rather must also consist of an objective reality; a reality that is made manifest in the gift of self.

When considering the objective aspect of love, we must discern what kind of relationship exists between me and my beloved in reality, not simply what this relationship means to me in my feelings. Does the other person truly love me more for who I am or more for the pleasure he receives from the relationship? Does my beloved understand what is truly best for me, and does she have the virtue to help me get there?

This article serves as a fantastic distillation of Pope John Paul II's teachings on love, particularly in relation to his text Love and Responsibility. Unlike the book, which is quite challenging to read for most, this article is very accessible. I'd recommend reading it yourself as well as passing it on to others you're wanting to introduce to the truths regarding love and the human person so profoundly expressed by our late pontif.